I witnessed a woman today spewing hatred. A blackened snake spewing venom. What would make a person contain so much hatred? How can one hold so much anger. What bitterness has been self-imposed to dominate this meanness. Seeing a person angry, or having seen someone mad, but to be so belligerent in honestly seemed to be a sign of insanity.
We have a the ability to chose who we are and what we will contribute. To be expressive of kindness and joy. To exhibit happiness and positive attitude. I have made a conscious choice, to show kindness. Despite how I feel I know that I'm blessed, how can I then have a display a negative attitude. What right do I have to take my feelings and then attempt to plant them on you. I don't, I can't, but there are those who do. We all have seem them and shake our head.
God bless the child who has it's own. I thought of her past and maybe this could have an affect on her adulthood. Life's journey was a bumpy ride for the child. Is this where the resentment lies?
When speaking of the past the darkness of her skin is always noted. Is this it, was her dark skin an area where she felt inadequate, displaced. To overcome it she became mean and hateful. Envious of others for her own skin color. Relying on the length of her hair to define her, but not loving her self enough to overcome.
Allowing her problems to bring her to the brink of stress and the reliance mood altering substance to mellow her defeated attitude. It's not working, it's not enough. It keeps coming back, haunting, fanning the flames of delusion. Not accepting responsibility for her own actions. she must now be boastful and spew the life failures on others.
The smiling face when she speaks of whites, it's as if the nastiness is enjoyable in her mouth. God help her. God helps us all, there our million of hers and hims in this world. She is the first I have encountered. She is the first that I can see a transition in her face, that is not her own. The walk becomes heavy as she stomps around like a game hunter. Who can she now prey. That's how much the hatred governs her, how it has entrapped her.
It is amazing that a person feels that it's necessary that they must speak each thought. Whether it slights another or hurts a person's feelings. That neck turning, talking loud and the use of profanity insults one in hearing range. It assaults every sense of ones being in ear shot. Literally, assaulting because of the foulness encloses the entire area as if a gas has been released. Negativity and unhappiness is not a joint connotation that anyone wants to be in arms reach. An aura of an individual shows, and she wears the crown of black thunder.
It saddens me that her children are witness to this behavior and the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Breeding more vengeful and intolerant individuals to spew their venom. To be taught that white people are to be mistreated. To hold themselves above authority. To attempt to undermine and degrade anyone that they can mistreat. To attempt to manipulate and use bullying techniques to get what they want. Do I think laughter is after each play, no. I believe that this is the way they they believe they have a right to act. What sickens me is there is no remorse, no conviction, there is no seeing wrong. She has no conscious.
The Bible says to pray for your enemies. The Bible says to love. The Bible says that I have a responsibility. What I have decided to do is give it to God. To say to Him that He is the only one that can take away her pain. He is the only one that can heal her hurt. He is the only one that can make her love another, to learn to love herself. He is the only one with loving correction, convict her of her actions. He is the only one that can take a child in a woman's body and make it whole.